Just when you think you have the bedtime routine down pat and you are in the clear, all of a sudden your preschooler is constantly asking you for something, calling for you, or waking up at night with nightmares. You may wonder, what can I do? Have I done something to cause this? HELP! We have some answers and tips that may just help.
First, let us examine the calling out for you/ things/ or asking questions. Right now your child’s mind is super active and they may be replaying their day in their minds and just are having difficulty settling down. There are a few things you can do.
- Take note of how much sleep your child is getting in 24 hours. Preschoolers tend to need between 10-13 hours of sleep a day. You may need to shorten a daytime nap or make bedtime earlier depending on the situation. Keep in mind that overtired children have a harder time falling asleep, and are more restless in their sleep. Making for another day of an overtired child.
- Make the hour before bed a calm time, with lowlights, and quiet activities, such as a calming bath, snuggling, and reading books (no electronics of any kind that can stimulate them more). A general bedtime for a preschooler is about 7:30-8 pm.
It is very important to stick to your bedtime routine. Remind your child how the evening will go. For example, after supper, you can say, “I will clean up and you can play. Once that is done it will be time for your bath. We can get pajamas on and then you may have a bedtime snack (be sure it has no caffeine or sugar, as that will wind up a child), and then we will brush our teeth. After that, it is our special snuggling and book time”. Making a visual schedule for your child can be extremely helpful for some. Here are a few examples of one you could print easily ( from Pinterest), add your steps, or you can make your own.
- What about all the requests and questions once they are in bed? As a part of your bedtime routine, you could go over the things most often asked by your child. For example, “ Let’s go potty, and get a drink. Then you will be set for bed. Now that you are in bed, do you have your stuffed animal and blanket, is the night light one? Is there anything else you need? Now is the time to ask. Once Mommy/Daddy leaves there are no more questions” Give them time to think. Be sure you have taken some time in those quiet moments before bed to talk about your day. Then they will have talked it out with you. What if they still call out? If your child continues the behavior, give her a “bedtime pass,” suggests Greg Hanley, M.D., director of the Children’s Sleep Program at Western New England University in Springfield, Massachusetts. Allow her to leave the bedroom, but only once a night, to ask for whatever is needed. It can take months to modify behavior, so remember that consistency is key. For some children, the pass can replace the crying and calling out while still giving them a feeling of control. This has to be a choice for your family.
Nightmares can be scary for both you and your child. Keep in mind that at these ages a child’s mind is very active as is their imagination. Imagination is often the reason behind the nightmares. What should you do about them?
- To your child these are real. Simply telling them they are not, will do nothing to reduce their feelings. They need some comfort and understanding, “I know that was a very scary dream you had. Look, we are safe now. Let me tuck you back in and you can have your special teddy to snuggle with”. You want to reassure, but not draw it out if possible.
- Avoid things that may be scary to the child before bedtime (such as if they have a fear of dogs/snakes, do not read a book about them before bed.
- Make bedtime as happy as possible, something to look forward to.
- Never dismiss their fears. Talk about them. Let them know you’re there to protect them.
- If they do not have one, offer a night light to help them feel safer
Whatever you may be facing, everyone needs to get good rest. Just remember, you will get through this, and by helping your child learn to sleep on their own you are helping them to grow in their autonomy. Having the balance of sleep in both of your lives will help you all to feel better and learn more.
We hope that this has helped you. If you find yourself with further questions or are looking for other resources, visit us at vkearlylearning.com and we would be more than happy to assist you in any way we possibly can.
