“ I love my newborn, but I am exhausted, and the baby isn’t sleeping? What can I do?”
Having a newborn is the most exciting yet challenging time in a person’s life. You are so happy to finally hold your little bundle of joy, yet you are so tired you can’t think straight. Have you ruined your baby? Why do so many other parents seem so happy, and you’re barely holding it together? Will you ever get to sleep?
First, let’s take a look at why your baby doesn’t sleep so well. Up until babies are around three months old, they do not have any set sleep/wake pattern, and to top that off they also do not sleep like adults or older babies. Yes, they sleep often, but not necessarily for long periods of time. Part of that is because it is not how they are wired. Newborns spend over half of their sleep in “active” sleep (REM). During this time, they may move a lot, jerk around, and at times even open their eyes briefly. Why is this? And what can I do?
- It may be important to brain development, possibly a way to test brain wiring.
- Try adding white noise, which may help alleviate unnecessary waking and startling.
- With light sleep, they often have the Moro reflex (startle reflex), if anything disturbs them, thus waking them up.
- Swaddle babies with a safety-approved swaddle to help keep startling from waking them.
- Newborns are more easily roused from REM sleep, which can be beneficial. When they are in “quiet sleep”, breathing is slower and more rhythmic, possibly making it harder to awaken if there is a lack of oxygen. It is hypothesized that this is a safety mechanism for infants to ensure adequate oxygen intake.
- Be sure to keep their sleeping area safe, and allow them to sleep. Do not rush to them with every tiny noise. There is a good chance they are in a light sleep.
My baby is up all night and sleeps all day?
- Their bodies are not adapted to the circadian rhythm (internal clock based on light/dark). While you were pregnant, their body responded to you and your hormones alerting them to “quiet at night”. Now that they are born, they no longer have that, and it can take up to 3 months or more to get into that rhythm. What can you do to help?
- Make your baby a part of your normal daily routine. Include them in awake activities as much as possible when you are up.
- Expose them to lots of light ( the more natural the better) during waking hours
- As night comes, be sure to lower the light in the home, and provide calming activities ( such as baby massage, bath, rocking/singing)
- If a baby is napping for long stretches during the day, awaken them so they get in the habit of shorter naps during the day and longer at night.
- Be sure to get all feedings in during the day, so that they may not need as many at night.
- Make daytime feeding interactive and nighttime feedings calm, quiet, and noninteractive.
Keep in mind that balance is the key. We all need some sleep – even a 30-minute rest while baby sleeps can help you significantly. Trust your instincts, and ask for help if you need it. This will not last forever! These are some helpful tips that we hope will help you along the way. If you would like any further assistance you can reach out to vkearlylearning.com and we would be happy to assist you on your journey.
